Stage 1     Waking Up

Affirmation:  I will become aware of cultural demands that expect me to abandon myself for the sake of others.

This stage is a foundation as well as a first step.  Your journal writing will begin to show you the way to be true to yourself-your own thoughts and feelings, needs and desires-throughout the program and the rest of your life.  You will discover that from the moment your life was conceived, cultural expectations were in place to tell you how to live it.  These expectations constitute the single most influential factor in your personal development.  They came to you from many sources that all seemed credible in your young life.

In this stage you will realize that cultural demands are not your life.  They are often unfair and unrealistic.  They ask too much of you and add little to your unique self-perception.  You will discover who and what were the biggest influences in you life, and how they influenced you.  "Waking Up" means recognizing that what is socio-cultural is not personal-you do not have to buy into the "Old Bride" cultural norms.

Presentation based on Codependency and the Socialization of Women, by Ann Mody Lewis, Ph.D., Copyright 1996