Bullying is created by the division of human qualities

Every culture is organized around the ideals of masculinity and femininity. These ideals are more about human behavior and the distribution of power, they are also about what is expected of men or women. This human system we call “normal” awards masculinity the right to be powerful. In its extreme form bullying is the unhealthy use of power to overtake and shame the weak, the vulnerable, the ‘different’, the helpless, and the feminine.

What is unhealthy power? Unhealthy power is aggression… not anger. Unhealthy power usually flows freely from a deeply insecure person. It becomes a way of concealing all the personal depression they are afraid to face. Unhealthy power doesn’t want anyone else to be right because they feel that it will make them less right or less of a person. Unhealthy power is so obsessed with their rightness to be powerful, that they actually believe that their victory justifies any means. That could, and usually does, include demeaning, debasing, humiliating, sometimes physically assaulting anyone they deem unfit to live. This distortion of power is destructive, contagious and aborts any possibility for peace. The bullying never convinces the Bully of their power because it is not convincing, even to the Bully. Therefore, they are driven into acts of deeper violence. It alienates them from everyone around them. Even those they call ‘friend’ are intimidated by the Bully’s unhealthy use of power but must swear allegiance to it by turning a Blind Eye to their own values.

Gender socialization lies at the core of most forms of abuse. The dividing of human behavior into two distinct groups, masculinity and femininity, leaves both groups disadvantaged. Men are made to fear, and ultimately reject, the tender, sensitive, empathic and loving qualities of their humanness. Women are made to deny their strong, powerful, directive and component qualities of their humanness. We humans are made to believe that by living the lie of gender socialization we can be normal. The division of human qualities causes an unhealthy polarity within us. Neither masculinity or femininity can be whole. We are doomed to unhealth unless we have free access to all the gifts of our existence, no matter our sex, our humanness must prevail.

Bullying is the disease of our culture. It is a cultural symptom of a much greater cause. Unless men and women become aware of the system of gender socialization nothing will change. What needs to chance is our vision of ‘rightness for humanity.’

Suggestions for your consideration

• Read about the unhealthy treads gender socialization expects us to internalize.
• Become part of a group that will assist you in your own resocialization.
• If you are employed ask your employer what system is in place to stop bullying behavior?
• If you are a female entering the work force, no matter how educated you are, be aware of gender discrimination and the possibility of bullying. Form strong alliances with other female or feminist men in your work environment.
• If you are a parent become conscious of your attitudes, values, and behaviors that perpetuate this ‘two-world system’ that divides human behavior. If you are a parent avoid bullying your children as a means of discipline. Children respond better to love and respect.
• If you are in a relationship and struggling for peace, find a therapist who understands the invasive/destructive belief that men and women are from different planets.
• If you have sworn your allegiance to a bully, break it, so you can be close to yourself. You are more important.

Remember that bullying is your responsibility wherever you are. What will correct the system that causes bullying is for you to become aware of your own subconscious world to become whole.